This is the tale of two young women and personal responsibility. Both came to work for me not long out of high school. Both had diplomas from the same school, both were single, childless and white. I make that point only to demonstrate that their circumstances at that moment in time were about as identical as could be.
One sorted clothes, the other scrubbed shirt collars. Neither job took much skill, and their pay of six dollars an hour reflected that. Both did their jobs well and both were pleasant enough. It would be tempting to say they were in the same boat, but in reality they were on different tracks that would take them in completely opposite directions.
One – the collar scrubber – decided early on not to have kids until she was ready, if ever. She set goals for her career, her finances and her life. And she wrote them down. One – to skydive by the age of twenty-five – resulted in the dumbest incentive plan ever devised. But that’s a story for another time.
When she sought more of a challenge, I readily offered to make her my bookkeeper – despite the fact that she didn’t know a debit from a credit or a computer mouse from Mickey Mouse. She had desire and attitude, which is really all one ever needs to succeed.
And succeed she did. Her pay more than tripled in eight years. Not only did she learn computing and accounting, she went on to get her associates degree, focusing on business, finance and computers. She maxed out her Roth IRA contributions from the start. When we offered a retirement plan, she maxed her contributions there, too. Having started saving at age twenty, she was on track to have over $3 million by the age of sixty-five.
Last December she told me this would be her last year because she planned to start her own business (another goal she had set). Though ready to leave in July, she committed to stay through the year because she had promised to do so. There is only one word to describe such a person – winner.
Contrast that with the other woman. When offered more responsibility, she declined. She went on to have a baby, father unknown. Two years later, she was pregnant again, still no husband. Though we were offering health insurance by then, she never signed up because the twelve dollar-a-week contribution was too expensive for her.
She quit before the baby came so that Medicaid would pay for her delivery. I’ve neither seen nor heard from her in five years, but word is that she now has at least three kids. Though she wasn’t on our payroll, I suspect that we’ve all helped to pay her bills through our taxes.
There are those who would look at the struggling mother and argue that we need to show compassion. We need to provide food, shelter and healthcare to one who is so down on their luck. And in a vacuum, it would be tough to disagree. But one has to wonder at what point our benevolence might become counter-productive, thereby enabling such self-destructive choices.
Bob Seger once sang that "life is like a big river – sink or swim depends on you." So true. Where some see victims and survivors, others see winners and losers. More often than not, it’s a result of personal choices. It’s a lesson I plan to teach my kids. And this tale of two women is certain to be part of the curriculum.
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Note: This piece generated a lot of feedback, both pro and con. I addressed the negative response in the piece that can be read here.
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