Teaching Kids the Joy of Accomplishment

Most people are shocked to learn that I wrote my newspaper column for a year before the idea of getting paid for it even came up. But you know what? I love writing it – so much so that I would do it for free. And I did.

Everyone should be so lucky to find things to do in life that they enjoy so much that they would do them without pay. Obviously, that’s not realistic, but I am a firm believer that true success is measured by the joy and satisfaction that comes the endeavor, rather than by financial reward it brings.

This is a lesson I am trying to teach my kids – that money does not buy happiness. It’s walking a fine line trying to teach them the value of money, without making them money-obsessed. At the same time, I want them to appreciate the satisfaction that comes from a job well done, without them feeling that they should get paid for everything they do.

So how to teach them the value of money and the joy of work? This is just my two cents worth, but the bast way is to keep the two – the value of money and the joy of work – separate.

First, I do not believe in paying kids – especially young ones – for doing the things around the house that they should be doing, like cleaning their rooms, picking up toys or helping me sweep the garage. Instead, I want to reward them with thanks, a game of monkey-in-the-middle or just standing back and pointing out how good things look. I want them to feel the satisfaction that comes from a job well done.

Second, I say no. A lot. There’s not a time that we walk past a candy aisle or a toy display or a gumball machine that the kids don’t ask if they can have something. A trip through Walmart is a trip through the gates of parental hell. Can I get this? No. Can I have that? No. How about this? No.

Why not? Because it costs money, and we can’t spend it on everything you see. We need to save it for the things we really want. Now, obviously a quarter for a gumball is not going to prevent me from paying for the groceries, but they don’t need to know that.

Third, I do believe in giving them a small weekly allowance that they can spend on a small toy, or save for a while if they want to buy something bigger. Then when they ask for something, I can tell them to save their money. Nothing places a value on cash as quickly as telling them the thing they want is ten bucks, when they’ve only got six.

The time will come when they’ll realize that they can jumpstart their financial independence by doing things of value for others. Then they can get paid for working. But hopefully by then, they will have developed an appreciation for a job well done. Getting paid will be icing on the cake.

I’m no parenting guru and I do not claim to have all the answers – not by a long shot. But if I can get my kids to take satisfaction from their efforts, regardless of the financial rewards, then I’ll feel that I’ve been successful. More important, they’ll feel successful in ways that money could never buy.