It's the Little Things

A while back, my wife turned left onto a busy street, then signalled that she needed to move right across two lanes of traffic so she could pull into the grocery store. But as she put on her signal, a driver in the right lane sped up to block her move, then proceeded to inform her of his opinion using a very specific finger.

Now, it’s not like she cut him off. She was just signaling her need to get into the next lane. But the other driver’s reaction left her with gritted teeth and boiling blood. And it’s fairly easy to imagine the mood of the other driver. I doubt his gesture was his way of telling her that he thought she was number one.

So here we have an everyday, completely normal circumstance that ends up leaving two people irritated and seething. But what if it had been handled differently? What if instead of blocking her path, the guy had slowed down to let her in? My wife waves to say thanks, and the other driver gets the momentary warm fuzzy feeling that comes with the simplest act of kindness.

The difference such acts can make was brought home by an email I received the other day. Like everyone else, I get emails forwarded with every manner of joke, prayer, advice and admonition. Some are cute, some troublesome and some just not worth the time to read (though, of course, not anything that’s been sent to me by anyone reading this). But every so often there is a little gem that pops out and makes me take notice.

I got one of those the other day. It simply said, “If you want to cheer yourself up, do something to cheer up someone else.”

So simple and so true. And cheering up someone else doesn’t require silly jokes and funny faces. Tiny acts of kindness – letting the other driver have the open parking space, letting the person who’s holding up the checkout lane know that it’s okay, giving back the incorrect change that the cashier gave you – make others feel better about the world around them. In the process, we feel better about ourselves.

For years I’ve carried a small clipping that quotes Harry Gray, former CEO of United Technologies, speaking on putting aside our focus on life’s grand awards in order to enjoy the little things – a glorious sunset, a kiss behind the ear, a four pound bass, hot soup, cold beer.

I often pull that out when I find myself fretting about things beyond my control. For all my want of a house on the lake, a better car, a bigger boat, the most enjoyable and rewarding moments are those I spend on my deck smelling the flowers while watching my kids play. Those moments bring more contentment – a much underrated emotion – than all my successes.

We can help others enjoy those moments. For proof I offer this little anecdote. I was in college when I received a call from a stranger, informing me they had found something I might want. She arrived at my door with a wallet that I had lost. In it was my cash, my driver’s license and that clipping reminding me to appreciate the little things in life. A simple act of kindness that cheers me to this day.